He finds himself frustrated with himself and the lack of control he has over his own reactions, and a little of that comes through in the kiss.
He appreciates that Hijikata is patient with him and understanding of the situation, but for all they pretend they have all the time in the world, he knows that isn't the case. Life is too uncertain. It would be, even if they were home, but it's doubly true now. The problem is, he just doesn't know what to do about it.
So all he can do is kiss him back and hope he can convey that he does want this, regardless.
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Date: 2014-10-27 05:17 am (UTC)He appreciates that Hijikata is patient with him and understanding of the situation, but for all they pretend they have all the time in the world, he knows that isn't the case. Life is too uncertain. It would be, even if they were home, but it's doubly true now. The problem is, he just doesn't know what to do about it.
So all he can do is kiss him back and hope he can convey that he does want this, regardless.