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[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[Retsu was tired.

No. That wasn't true. Retsu was utterly, bone-wearily exhausted.

It has been a week since Aizen fell. One of the worst weeks Retsu ever remembered in her long, long life. Yamamoto-soutaichou had fallen, along with three other captains, and several others were still in critical condition. She was one of the only people still capable of leading, yet she was also desperately needed in the healing ward.

She wasn't sure anymore how many days it had been since she slept. Shinigami were capable of going much longer without sleep than ordinary souls or mortals, but she was still reaching her limit. She glanced around and leaned against a doorpost for a moment, closing her eyes before she went into Jyuushiko's room.

It had taken all Retsu's considerable skill to save Jyuushiko. The blond arrancar had put a hole right through her chest, and there had been complications...Retsu still wasn't sure how fully her friend would recover. And Kyouraku Shunsui was still in critical condition in the room across the hall.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, passing through the kido barrier and going to Jyuushiko's bedside to see how she was doing.]

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[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[Her hands tightened into fists under Retsu's, shaking slightly. It was taking all her control to keep her breathing more or less steady, to not start coughing again. The news about Rukia was reassuring, but Shunsui...damn those bastards. It was a good thing Aizen was dead already - she'd kill him herself, for that.]

Can I see him?

[A stupid question, on her part - even if Retsu would let her, she probably couldn't get out of bed right now, much less stand. A somewhat more distant part of her brain observed that at the very least, she had an IV drip in her arm. She wasn't quite cognizant enough yet to know if there was anything else she was hooked up to.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She reached out with her reiatsu slightly, monitoring Jyuushiko's condition carefully. If she got too agitated, Retsu might have to put her under again.]

Not right now. You're in no condition to move, and no one can see him while he's still this sick. With his immune system already overstretched, we can't run the risk of any other illnesses or infections.

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[Jyuushiko sighed slightly, shoulders slumping, and nodded. A part of her had expected that answer, but it didn't quite undo the knot of worry forming in her gut, or the shakiness she felt. Still, she had to trust that Retsu would do her best - just as she always did.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.

[She busied herself checking on Jyuushiko's vitals and the like while her friend composed herself.]

You should get some rest. Your body needs plenty of sleep so you can heal.

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[A small shake of her head]

No - thank you. You do your best.

[A few seconds to catch her breath - talking seemed like so much effort, right now - and then she added-]

I will, but...stay awhile?

[Having just woken up, she wasn't entirely keen on slipping back off into oblivion just yet.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

I'll stay for a while.

[With three captains dead, and three others hospitalized, she'd barely had time to think. Seireitei had been plunged into chaos; they didn't even have the Central 46 to fall back on. There hadn't been enough time for everything she needed to do, let alone for her personal grief at the death of a man who had been not only a teacher, but in many ways father to her.]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

Good.

[She shifted, pulling her hand free of Retsu's, and moving to shakily resettle the oxygen mask on her face. Annoying, but necessary, at least for now, if she wanted to talk. It simply left her too breathless otherwise.]

You could use a break, too.

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She nodded tiredly.]

Fourth has been quite chaotic, with all the hospitalized captains and lieutenants. Fortunately, there is only one patient from Eleventh.

[A slightly scary smile played around her lips. She'd put the fear of God into Ikkaku when he tried to sneak out, and Yumichikia had more sense than to cross someone who was "~dangerously beautiful~".]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[A weak chuckle, though the smile is somewhat more genuine.] A little bit less work for you, then.

And the worst is over now - after that, rebuilding should be easy.

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She glanced down at the thought of rebuilding and tried to keep her voice smooth and steady.]

Perhaps.

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[Jyuushiko wasn't anywhere near at her normal senses, but even so, she could hear the hesitation there, the glance away down at her hands.]

...Perhaps?

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She stood up for a moment, looking as if she was considering something and trying to make a decision. Then, she sat down on the bed next to her friend.] We...lost people, Jyuushiko-san.

Kuchiki-taichou. Komamura-taichou.

And...and Sensei.

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[There's disbelief written clear across her face. The other names fade into the background with the speaking of that one word.]

No...he would never...

[Her voice is almost a whisper, and shaking badly.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She dropped her head instead of trying to argue. Jyuushiko's disbelief mirrored her own when she first realized what had happened. She wished--oh how she wished--that it was a lie or a trick. But it wasn't. Yamamoto-sensei was dead.]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[The total lack of argument is almost worse than Retsu trying to convince her of the truth. To leave Retsu looking so...broken - it had to be true. Still, she couldn't quite wrap her mind around the idea that the man who had been the center of their world for so long was just....gone.

She reached out shakily to put a hand on her friend's shoulder, a gentle tug indicating she should move closer.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She slid closer to Jyuushiko, carefully putting an arm around her and half-turning her face in towards her friend. It had been so hard to keep going for the past week.

She'd had to take over the duties of the soutaichou in the short term--there simply wasn't anyone else. And she wasn't ready for this--to try to fill Yamamoto-sensei's shoes during such a crucial time.]

I was...unable to save him. [She had tried, desperately and even dangerously to pull him back despite her well-honed healer's instincts telling her that it was impossible; he was already gone.]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[After Retsu slipped closer, Jyuushiko moved her hand down to rest around her friend's back. She bowed her head slightly, resting her forehead on her friend's shoulder.]

I know... you did your best.

[Her voice cracks slightly, though she's doing her best to keep from coughing again.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[Retsu was not the kind of person who allowed herself to show emotion in front of other people. She had been raised to be not the heir, but the lady of a household, and a noblewoman could not afford displays of emotion. It was neither seemly nor prudent. Jyuushiko was one of the few people she let see beyond that mask.

Even so, she could not afford to break down right now. There were far too many people who were depending on her. So she allowed herself a few hot tears, but tied most of her grief and pain tightly inside her. She rested against Jyuushiko, both comforting her friend and receiving some comfort for herself.]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[Despite coming from a noble family herself, Jyuushiko was not so constrained with her emotions - though she was near-silent, she cried into friend's shoulder, hands clenched tight in the folds of Retsu's haori]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She cried into Jyuushiko's hair, slow tears because she wouldn't let herself break down. She couldn't, because there were too many people depending on her.]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[After a few minutes of quiet, crying, the tears turned to coughs, and Jyuushiko released her friend, pulling back so as not to get blood on Retsu.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[Retsu moved slightly to avoid getting blood on her haori, but didn't remove her hand from Jyuushiko's back, pushing healing kido into her to help her breathe and to soothe her lungs.,]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[She covered her hands with her mouth, pushing the face mask out of the way to try to keep from getting blood in that, too. The cool touch of Retsu's power spreading through her chest was a welcome relief, dulling the spasms of pain that no doubt stemmed from her wound.

The coughs subsided after what felt like far too long, and she wiped the flecks of blood from her lips with the back of her hand. Her palms had blood on them too, but...easy enough to wash off.]

...Thank you.

[Her voice is a rough whisper, after the coughing, but she forces a smile for Retsu.]

[mantarayhealer.livejournal.com]

[She handed her friend a handkerchief silently.]

[toppedbyfishies.livejournal.com]

[Jyuushiko took it, carefully cleaning off as much of the blood as she could with slightly shaky hands. Once finished, she folded the worst of the blood to the inside, and handed it back to Retsu silently.]